Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Moment of Truth...

My very first AA meeting the day before yesterday... I stand up, face the group, and speak the words I've been needing to say for years... "Hi, My name's Francie, and I'm an alcoholic."

There. It's out in the open. There's really no more to be said. I'm sure there are those who were well aware of this fact before now, but I'm tired of dancing around the obvious, and it's way past time for me to face facts. Last Thursday, I sustained my third serious alcohol-related injury. Following a torn rotator cuff in the summer of 2009, a broken hip in December of 2010, this time I blacked out and fell flat on my face, breaking my nose, gashing my forehead, smashing my chin and rearranging some of the teeth in my recently remodeled million dollar mouth. After waking up in the North Bay Trauma Center, I spent a couple of days in the hospital drying out, and sleeping it off. After a long visit with a social worker, I bit the bullet, and promised her I'd give AA a try. Quoting Yoda, she sternly reminded me, "There is no try... there is do, or not do." OK. Right. So, AA and I are now going to become best friends for a spell until I, somehow, get away from my path of self destruction. If we have to become lifelong buds, then, so be it.

The main task is entirely up to me, but I'm asking for a little help from my friends along the way. After over 50 years of hard drinking, this is going to be quite a change in my life, and I'm sure old habits are going to die hard, with lots of howling, kicking and screaming. On the other hand, every time I look in the mirror these days and see this (which looks worse as the days progress)...


... I'm reminded that time is running out, and the change has got to stick this time.

Enough said. Thanks for listening.

5 comments:

Birdie said...

I am so proud of you. A.A. is an amazing program. You are in for the ride of your life! All you have to do is not drink between meetings. And get yourself a sponsor.

Most of all be proud of yourself! Seriously! It is a hard think for an alcoholic to do. xo

Healing Woman said...

You are a brave woman! Wake up calls can save lives. I feel for you since I love my wine. Funny, it seems like everyone in my family, including myself, can't have just one drink. when I drink, I must have 2 huge glasses, even though I'm very happy with just one. I think it is habit with me but I did have a serious problem one night, something like yours, and ever since, I have toned down..but..if it happens again..I will be sitting right there next to you at the meeting-across the country, of course.

Dali Lobo said...

I support you in all your endeavors. This is the one that is just for you! You deserve the best.

Unknown said...

I don't know you and just happened on to your blog....AA has saved my neice and nephews lives and as a result have saved my whole family from the grief and helplessness that we all felt. It is an amazing program and you will find new friends that will be supportive. I will be thinking of you and pulling for you!

Unknown said...

I don't know you and just happened on to your blog....AA has saved my neice and nephews lives and as a result have saved my whole family from the grief and helplessness that we all felt. It is an amazing program and you will find new friends that will be supportive. I will be thinking of you and pulling for you!