Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Unwelcome Visitors

We woke up to a kitchen full of these little bastards this morning. I saw a few of them running around yesterday and feared they'd multiply overnight when I couldn't be there to keep an eye on them, and I was right. We dispatched them after a half hour's hard labor, but they'll probably be back again tomorrow morning. They always seem to "test" us for a couple of days before they move on. Fortunately, once they're gone they tend to stay gone for months. I think this invasion is retaliation for my drowning out one of their colonies a couple of days ago when I revived an old planter that hadn't seen any water for a long time. Actually, I rather enjoy drowning ants - I get a kick out of watching them run around like their little asses are on fire - probably very much like I'd behave if some giant six-legged creature with a multi-sectioned body smelling like formalin burst into my house with a fire hose. My mother used to pour boiling water on them whenever she found an invasion, but I've discovered plain old hose water is just as effective, and you don't waste electricity boiling up the water.

One time, an old woman at a church where I worked, put a question to me; If I could ask God any question, what would it be? I told her I'd like to know how many ants are alive and well on this planet at any given moment. The good woman was scandalized. She, it appeared, had a whole list of lofty questions to ask The Maker, most of which I thought were absolute balderdash. I'm sure God's answers to all of her nosey questions would invariably be, "Because that's the way it is, Sister." Now, the answer to my question would be one you could sink your teeth into... a number with a million billion gazillion digits. Sort of like Pi.

No, as a matter of fact, I DON'T have anything better to do this afternoon...

1 comment:

Elizabeth Golden said...

Aren't they just the biggest pain? I actually found - by accident - a way to get rid of these little pests. I had a terrible invasion of them in my kitchen by my sink. I had the pest guy out several times. Then I had art day at my house and we did Citrol sol on National Geographic pages. Citrol sol is an organic cleaner - orange scented that you can get at the health food market. We got it all over my counters. Because it is a concentrated cleaner I didn't think much of it. I just got a sponge and cleaned my counters and cabinet by the sink well when we were finished. I have never seen an ant since!