Thursday, July 3, 2008

Onward!

Last week I made a decision I equate with doing a cannonball off the high dive... you know the kind... a decision that's going to make a whole lot of big waves in my life! After nearly three decades of "thinking" about it, I decided to resume organ studies - something that hasn't happened since I was in college. Now, I've been working steadily as an organist for most of those years, but, during that time, I've watched myself become less and less of an organist and more and more of a schlepper. My technique and skills were going slowly to hell, and my self confidence was eroding at a frightening pace.
Last Monday I attended the memorial service of a good friend, and at that service the organist was Sandra Soderlund, a well-known, nay, famous, concertizing organist/educator/author who lives locally. While sitting at the table with her during the reception, I found my unfamilarly timid self asking her if she did any private teaching, and, if so, might I possibly study with her. Good booguh-mooguh!!! WHAT did I just say??? The words having been uttered, I could only sit there, smiling (and sweating), as though I'd just asked a completely normal and well thought-out question, while I heard her reply that she loved to teach, and was quite willing to take on a new student. An exchange of e-mails then followed, written with trembling hands on my part, the end result of which was that I had my first lesson yesterday and loved every millisecond of it. From today's perspective, I find myself looking forward to a fun and exciting experience in future months and years, as I regain my identity as a serious organist.
I can only wonder what on earth sometimes makes us sit in limbo, while we long to take a risk, all the time fearing we'll be clobbered if we take that risk, only to discover, after taking said risk, that it was just NO BIG DEAL. I coulda/shoulda done this years ago, but, at the risk of sounding trite... better late than never!

2 comments:

arkivarie said...

"only to discover, after taking said risk, that it was just NO BIG DEAL."

I've found time and again that *dreading* or worrying about the risk is much worse than actually taking it, so I've developed a philosophy of "jump right in and get it over with". That way I don't have time to chicken-out!
:-)

arkivarie said...

"only to discover, after taking said risk, that it was just NO BIG DEAL."

I've found time and again that *dreading* or worrying about the risk is much worse than actually taking it, so I've developed a philosophy of "jump right in and get it over with". That way I don't have time to chicken-out!
:-)